Song requests, do-not-play lists and who really picks the music

The 20/10/70 rule

Pick around 20 must-play songs, list up to 10 do-not-play tracks, and leave roughly 70% of the night to the band. Couples who script every song almost always end up with a flatter floor than couples who name the anchors and let professionals read the room.

What belongs on a do-not-play list

• —Songs tied to a past relationship or a difficult family memory.
• —Genres you genuinely dislike, named as genres rather than one track at a time.
• —Line dances or novelty songs you do not want, stated explicitly.
• —Explicit versions, if children or elders are present.

Guest requests

Decide your policy in advance and tell the band. Common options: take all requests, take requests only if they fit the current energy, or take none. Most couples choose the middle option — it keeps guests feeling heard without handing over the floor.

Songs the band needs early

• —Processional and recessional.
• —Grand entrance.
• —First dance, parent dances.
• —Cake cutting and last dance.
• —Anything outside the standard book, submitted at least six weeks out.